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Pre-Disney

A couple of months ago, we decided that we wanted to take Ella to Disney World.  It was rather a spur of the moment decision, but also a well thought out decision - contradictory, I know.   I really wanted to take her while it is still "magical" to her, wanted to go when the crowd levels were down, and wanted to go when we could get good prices.  Plus, since she didn't get to start 5K this year, it is the last perfect time to go during the school year.  Clint agreed - as long as she agreed that the princesses were real.  So, I asked her, "Ella, are princesses real?"  She responded, "Well, Mom.  In the movies, they are just pretend, but at Disney World...they are REAL!!"  So, from the there, the trip was booked.

The catch...she didn't know we booked it.  We have successfully kept it a secret from her.  I got some paperwork in the mail, including a map of Disney, and of course, she saw it and questioned.  She dropped it after a few minutes of asking, but a couple of days later, she was cutting up my map!!  Silly girl.

Clint and I told all the kiddos that we were heading to Mimi and PaPa's house on Friday - and that is what we did.  We loaded both cars and took off mid-afternoon.  We had dinner at Mimi's house.  Aunt Katie, Uncle JD, Pearce and Anna Elise were there too.  We visited for awhile and then about 9:30, we told Ella that we had a surprise - we were going to a hotel.  You would have thought she won the lottery or something.  She turned and looked at Mimi and said, "I am going to a hotel.". 

Look at that smile...and she doesn't even know what the BIG surprise is!!

So, off we went.  We drove to Gainesville last night and are on our way to Disney now - she still doesn't know.  We told her that we hadn't gotten the letter yet to tell her what the surprise is...so let's see how it turns out.

Wesley's 1st birthday

Wesley turned 1!!  We no longer have any infants in our house  - he is officially a toddler!  I still can't believe it.  This year has completely flown by.  It is amazing to think about all of the changes we have had since this little fellow has blessed our lives.  One year ago, we held our baby boy for the very first time. 

He is just the apple of my eye.  Words can't even express.  He has changed so much over the past month or so.  The day he turned 11 months old, he decided to start walking.  He was slow going for a week or so, but he is picking up pace.  He would rather walk than he would crawl, so he gets lots of practice.  He has two teeth on the bottom and the 4 up top are coming in.  He weighs just over 24 lbs.

The girls absolutely love him, too.  He gets lots of kisses from him - especially from Mary Catherine (no surprise there, right?))  :)  It is so fun to watch the kids play together.  Sometimes, I will hear Ella reading him a book.  He and Mary Catherine have been seen playing along side of him.  The other day, Mary Catherine even walked up to him and say "See Essy, book.  Can you say book?"

He eats just about anything these days - except mashed potatoes.  He still has a few jar foods here and there, but for the most part, he will eat table food.  Still taking some bottles, but I guess we will be stopping that pretty soon.  He will have to learn to hold his cup though!  I noticed a month or so ago (when we started giving him more bottles at home), that he just wouldn't hold his bottle.  I remember the girls holding theirs by this age, but I didn't think more about it.  Although he has been "using" a sippy cup at dinner for long time (rather playing), we have been encouraging him to use it more and more lately.  Since then, I have noticed that if he really wants something to drink, he points at it, I put it to his mouth, and he drinks.  But, he won't hold his own cup.  Coincidence? I think not.  Clint says I spoil him :)

We had a great birthday.  Not as big and elaborate as Ella's, not as dressed up as Mary Catherine's, but sometimes, simple is just perfect.  Mimi, PaPa, Aunt Katie, Pearce, and Anna Elise all came up to help celebrate.  After they got here on Saturday, we attempted to take all of the kids to Sears to get their pictures made.  They all looked so cute all dressed up, and at the end of the day, I guess we got an okay picture.  Defiitely an adventure.  It was a rough night a sleeping, or lack there of to say the least.  Poor Anna Elise wasn't too sure about Wesley's bed and ended up sleeping with Katie in the bonus room. Wesley wasn't too sure about the pack and play and I wasn't too sure about hearing him sleep and listening to Clint sleep.  After some yummy pumpkin muffins (Thanks Katie!) on Sunday morning, the kids were ready to play.  They had them a good ole time - which is what it is all about.  Anna Elise and Wesley napped most of the morning.  After lunch, we had cake - and boy was that messy.  Wesley wasn't too sure what to think about the cake.  He just sat there and analyzed it a few minutes.  He painted himself with all colors of the cake and then was done.  He didn't really eat too much.  Ella thinks we should give him the cake back tomorrow so he can finish it.  After a good bath, he opened presents.  Felt a little like Christmas around here with the the presents and laughter...and then the "Mine!  No, Mine!"  lol

After everyone headed back home, the house took a nap.  Poor Wesley didn't take a long one, but MC and Ella did.  Hopefully he will get a good night's rest. 

After the cake was taken away, he is definitely wearing more icing than he ate!

Kyle Ray

On October 6, I returned home from a conference in CA to totally unexpected news - Kyle had been in a serious car accident and had been airlifted to Jackson.  I talked to my Aunt Cheryl when I got home that night, and things didn't look good.  After about 20 minutes, I got in touch with my brother.  As soon as he answered the phone, he told me the worst news I think I have heard - Kyle had passed.  I screamed and broke down and then we just sobbed together on the phone.

The next few days were a complete blurr.  We packed the kids up and headed to MS.  We went to see Jody, Angela and Zac on Saturday afternoon and on Sunday afternoon.  The service was on Monday - there were so many people there, it was unbelievable.  It was an amazing service - the preacher did a great job. 

The comfort we have to get thru this is knowing that he is in heaven with God.  And even though that provides a level of comfort, I am still sad and hearbroken.  During that first week, I would cry and then be okay.  And then out of no where, I would just start sobbing.  And then I would be okay.  It was the most emotional thing I think I have experienced.

It is amazing that even as the days pass, how much he will pop into my head.  I can't count the number of times that I have been driving to work, or laying in bed, Kyle will pop into my mind and I will just cry.  During those first few days, I asked Clint, "I am sure Heaven is pretty amazing, but as sad as we all are, do you think Kyle is looking down, seeing us and is sad just a little bit b/c he misses his mom?"  Clint responded, "I think he is looking down and saying - if you only knew how wonderful and joyous it is up here."

I miss him.  It is easy as that.  I struggle becaue there are no words that I can say or nothing I can do to provide comfort to Jody and Angela.  My heart breaks for them.  My daily prayer is that even though we may never understand, that they will find peace and comfort knowing that he is with the Lord.  It is better to have known Kyle for the time he was here, than to have never known him at all!

Changes

I am so very blessed to have been able to nurse all 3 of my kids.  I still don't know how I ever made the decision to nurse or what drove me to keep up with it for their whole first years.  Nursing comes with so many emotions, joy, pain, stress, humbleness - it's just hard to explain.  Sometimes, as the year comes to an end, I am so over it, and so ready to "just be done with it."  But then, realization sets in that my baby is growing and growing and just doesn't need me in that fashion anymore.  It's sad, but then exciting in a whole other way.

I remember the last time I nursed Ella and I cried and cried.  It was so much more emotional for me to stop than it was for her.  I cried for me and I cried because she didn't.  When I was nursing Mary Catherine, it was different.  I had gotten pregnant with Wesley and my supply started going down.  So, since we were supplementing around 9 or 10 months anyways, I don't remember it being so difficult to stop.

Well the time for Wesley is fast approaching.  For some reason, all of the milk that I froze went bad - guess I didn't store it right.  I learned a little too late of how to freeze it so that he will actually drink it.  In the meantime, I have dumped 350+ ounces of milk - talk about sad and frustrating!!  Anyway, I made the decision to go on a business trip to CA next week and I don't have enough frozen milk to get him thru the week.  Since he is 11 months, I can start him on a little whole milk, but I don't feel good about switching him all the way. 

So, tonight, I gave him his first bottle of formula.  Of course, I convinced myself that he wouldn't take it.  He knows the difference!  And he won't like it!  Well, at first, I thought I was right - he pushed it away.  But after getting him positioned just right, he drank the bottle with no regard that it wasn't "his mommy's milk."  At least I will be at peace next week on my trip that he will drink what is given to him, whether it is my little bit of frozen milk or whether it is formula.  He will be Ok.

As this chapter of my life is narrowing to an end, I am so very thankful I have been able to provide for my children in this way.  I am so very thankful for the bond that I feel like I have with each of them and for all of the quiet, special one-on-one time I have had with each of them.  I look forward to many, many more - just in a new special way.

Wesley 11 months

Welsey turned 11 months!!  Still blows my mind that it has been 11 months since he was born.  Well, to celebrate, he started walking!!  He has been taking steps for weeks now, but it was only 2 or 3 steps here and there.  I tried to hold on to his hands to "walk" him down the hall just a week ago.  But, after 2 or 3 he went to his knees and started crawling.  I guess he just made up his mind today that enough was enough.  I got to school to pick the kids up and Ms Susan said, "No, he is like walking around, by himself, all over the room." 

He is just such a joy!  It is so fun to watch him and the girls play together.  While I was cooking dinner the other night, he and Ella were racing on hands and knees thru the house....giggling the whole time.

Different personalities

Amazing how different children can be. It is so fun watching the kids grow and see how the respond differently in the same situation. For instance...

If we are walking out of school and an ambulance goes by (or a loud motorcycle), Ella is looking and trying to find out where that loud noise is coming from. Mary Catherine will run and jump in my arms.

If we want to praise Ella on something, we can say "High five" and she responds to that and lights up. The other day, I tried to do the same thing with Mary Catherine. As I sat there with my hand up in the air, she ran up to me and just glossed over my hand and threw her arms around me to give me a hug.

Ella talks and talks and talks and talks. Non-stop going to and from school. The other day I just didn't feel like talking back to her, so I let her just keep going and going. I finally started trying to count the seconds of quite time in the car - only made it to 6 seconds. Mary Catherine on the other hand, doesn't talk a lot in the car. When Ella was sick last week, it was just MC, Wesley and myself in the car going to and from school for 3 days. The car was sooo quiet those three days!

Gotta love 'em. Still think Mary Catherine is the one to watch out for...never know what she is up to!

First day back to work

My first day back to work was Feb 9 - and of course, it was HARD! It's always hard going back to work when you spend so much time with your baby. Seemed the worst this time than it did in the past, but I think it was because the kids stayed home with me more and we just got into more of a routine this time around. Plus, it didn't help that for at least 4 to 5 weeks prior to my return to work, at least one of the kids was sick every week. Mary Catherine had off and on fever, Wesley had RSV, then Mary Catherine had fever again. I thought they were all well until the night before I went back to work - Ella started running fever. Thank goodness Mimi was able to come over Wed morning to stay with her. She stayed with Ella for the rest of the week so that we could go back to work.


I took Wesley Monday for the first time and I couldn't even talk to any of the teachers. I cried and cried when I got in the car and then headed to the gym to release all of the emotional stress I was feeling. He did really well though. He didn't want to take his first bottle, but he chugged his second one down. He even took four 30-minute naps - and he was only there for 5 hours! He had another good day on Tuesday and I just cried a little :) I guess he is napping better at daycare than Mary Catherine did because he is already use to a lot of noise around the house :)

Here are some pictures of my first day back. Mary Catherine didn't want to get her picture made that morning :(

Gotta love these faces...

Diaper in hand

For Christmas, Barbara gave the girls new princess pajamas. They are the first "dress" pajamas that Mary Catherine has ever worn. This morning, Ella came running into our room and jumped in our bed. As she and I were cuddling, Clint and I could here a "Ohh-hh-hh Ohh-hh-hh" coming down the hallway. Mary Catherine walked into our room with her diaper in her hand. Yes, the diaper she had slept in - not a new dry diaper - but the wet diaper she had been wearing all night long. We couldn't do anything but laugh and laugh. Guess we will need to put some bloomers on her or something the next time she wears her princess dress pajamas to bed!

Ella - gymnastics

Ella loves her gymnastics - "nastics" as she still calls it. She looks forward to every Tuesday night! She loves her "teolard," too. We had parents night where I got to go into the gym with her and watch her take class. She gave me lots of hugs and kisses each time she passed by me.

Wesley - 12 weeks

Hard to believe that Wesley is already 12 weeks old! I think he has changed so much in the past couple of weeks!! He has really started cooing and making a rasping noise with his mouth. His whole face will just light up. The other day, while Clint and Ella were taking the decorations off of the Christmas tree (yes we are late getting everything down), as Wesley sat in the bouncy seat, he and I just carried on a conversation. We just talked and talked. It was so much fun!!

He loves his hands. He clasps them together all the time. He puts in them in his mouth all of the time too. I think he is searching for his thumb! He will still take his pacifier, but he loves his hands!! The other night after his middle of the night feeding, he couldn't seem to be able to go back to sleep right away. He wouldn't take his pacifier either - he just kept spitting it out. I finally just gave up and went back to bed. I could hear him over the monitor coo out loud a couple of times and I could tell he was eating his hands. Then the next thing I knew, he was sound asleep!!

He even rolled over from his tummy to his back yesterday for the first time. It was so funny! Ella and I were just playing with him and totally didn't expect him to do it - which of course, he didn't expect it either. You could tell he was a little freaked out by the change in direction. I have also noticed here in the past couple of days that he is reaching out for things now. Like tonight at dinner, he reached out to the zebra on his swing and was jut hanging onto it. He is mesmerized by the animals that hang down in the baby Einstein play gym. He will just lay there and stare and then swat at them.

My favorite moment right now is sometimes when he is finished nursing, he will just take those big eyes, gaze up at me, smile and then say cooooo. It is just sweet, genuine love.

Snow

Boy did it ever snow!!! We never dreamed that it would snow this much, but it sure did. It was pretty amazing! We didn't really play in it that much though. When Clint got home from work, he and Ella went outside and played around a little. It was a little too powdery to go sledding. Mary Catherine was tired and needed a nap. She was starting to get a cold, too, so it was a good thing she didn't go outside. Wesley was napping also when Clint and Ella went out.
Ella was measuring the snow.

In the front yard, it measured 8 inches!!!

Hard to see, but Mary Catherine and I were looking out of the kitchen window watching Ella and Clint. Mary Catherine thought it was fun!! :)

Lots and lots of snow!!

Measured 12 inches in the back yard!!

Looking down the street from our house.