Kyle Ray

On October 6, I returned home from a conference in CA to totally unexpected news - Kyle had been in a serious car accident and had been airlifted to Jackson.  I talked to my Aunt Cheryl when I got home that night, and things didn't look good.  After about 20 minutes, I got in touch with my brother.  As soon as he answered the phone, he told me the worst news I think I have heard - Kyle had passed.  I screamed and broke down and then we just sobbed together on the phone.

The next few days were a complete blurr.  We packed the kids up and headed to MS.  We went to see Jody, Angela and Zac on Saturday afternoon and on Sunday afternoon.  The service was on Monday - there were so many people there, it was unbelievable.  It was an amazing service - the preacher did a great job. 

The comfort we have to get thru this is knowing that he is in heaven with God.  And even though that provides a level of comfort, I am still sad and hearbroken.  During that first week, I would cry and then be okay.  And then out of no where, I would just start sobbing.  And then I would be okay.  It was the most emotional thing I think I have experienced.

It is amazing that even as the days pass, how much he will pop into my head.  I can't count the number of times that I have been driving to work, or laying in bed, Kyle will pop into my mind and I will just cry.  During those first few days, I asked Clint, "I am sure Heaven is pretty amazing, but as sad as we all are, do you think Kyle is looking down, seeing us and is sad just a little bit b/c he misses his mom?"  Clint responded, "I think he is looking down and saying - if you only knew how wonderful and joyous it is up here."

I miss him.  It is easy as that.  I struggle becaue there are no words that I can say or nothing I can do to provide comfort to Jody and Angela.  My heart breaks for them.  My daily prayer is that even though we may never understand, that they will find peace and comfort knowing that he is with the Lord.  It is better to have known Kyle for the time he was here, than to have never known him at all!